50 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen:Story Edition
by B1u3 R0s3
Summary: Bella helps the family get back at Alice with a little help from the Werewolves don't kill me! . Comes After 50 Ways to Prank Carlisle Cullen by Lennon Drop you should read it! please R&R! No flames! My first Twilight Fanfic. Just read it!
1. Introduction

**A/N: okay, this is from the list 50 Ways to Annoy Alice Cullen (soon to be published). I already wrote part of the story at the same time, so enjoy! Oh, and, of course, review! **

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series (Stephenie Meyer) nor 50 Ways to Prank Carlisle Cullen (Lennon Drop). Duh.**_

**Another Author's note: this takes place somewhere before Eclipse because Jacob's still here (don't kill me!) and after Lennon Drop's story.**

_Bella's POV_

I madly finished scrawling the list down on a scrap of paper. I was at Jacob's house. Edward still doesn't like the fact that I go here, but he permits it. Barely.

I felt Jacob's hot breath on my neck.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked. I whipped my head around to face him, an accusing look on my face.

"Shame on you, peeking over my shoulder!" I cried, crossing my arms. His façade of innocence didn't work on me. His expression faltered for a second, and I caught it. I hit his arm lightly. He feigned pain.

"Ow!" he said, pouting, "You hurt me." He turned away, as if to go.

"Fine," I called, "be like that. But then you'll never know what's on this paper." That caught him, I knew it. He turned around, his curiosity barely veiled. I smiled smugly.

He sauntered over cautiously, than snatched the paper out of my outstretched hand. He quickly scanned it, a smile lighting up his features.

"Sounds fun," he said, handing it back, "Can't wait to aggravate that bloodsu—" he caught the look on my face and edited, "vampire."

"Very good, Jake," I appraised. "Now, about numbers four and five," I looked up questioningly. He glanced down at the paper, then handed it back to me.

"It'll be fine," he said.

I was surprised, "Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. Just keep it out of our range of scent and none of the pack will touch it. Not like we'd want to." He wrinkled his nose at the thought.

"Okay, good," I replied, "just making sure. Now you might want to leave."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I'm calling Edward and I know how you two don't get along." I replied.

"Oh, right." He said, a dejected look on his face. He walked away. I sighed. There's not much I can do about it though. It's like trying to make the nemeses on cartoons get along. It just doesn't happen.

I dialed Edward's number—I knew it by heart. He would know better than I how to hide decisions from Alice. He answered after the first ring, as usual. He wasn't pleased with La Push being part of the plan, but otherwise he liked it. He agreed with letting Jasper in on it, too. He assured me all would be taken care of. Thus, my plan was set into action.


	2. More Introduction

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series (Stephenie Meyer) nor 50 Ways to Prank Carlisle Cullen (Lennon Drop). Duh.**_

_Edward's POV_

_She's still there,_ I thought to myself, watching the second hand of the clock on my bedroom wall crawl by. I gripped the armrest on my couch, but not quite hard enough to break anything.

I 'heard' Jasper think_, "I hope Bella comes back soon. Edward can't take much more of this. Heck, _I_ can't take much more of this."_

I sighed. It seemed that I was always the subject on my family's minds. Not that I pry, but, it just happens. They're used to it. _Well, everyone's minds but Rosalie's_. I thought grimly, then allowed myself a small smile, _but that's another matter altogether. _The smile widened as I 'heard' Alice.

"_Geez! Edward needs to get up off of his butt and do something! Bella's coming back! Speaking of her, when she does get back, which shoes should she wear…"_ she broke off, as if she could 'hear' me 'hearing' her. She immediately started solving this week's crossword puzzle—in Japan. The only reason I knew was because Japanese is the _only_ language I don't know.

"You don't have to do that, you know," I barely whispered. I knew she could hear me.

"I know," she replied from across the house. _"It's just so much fun!"_ she finished. I chuckled.

_Might as well put on some music to pass the time,_ I mused. Just as I got up, I heard my phone buzz.

I knew immediately who it was without looking. The only other six people with my number were in the same house with me. I picked it up with lightning speed.

"Bella?" _Are you ok? Why are you calling me?_ I sat down.

"Yeah, it's me. Don't sound so worried. It's not like I got eaten by wolves!" she laughed at her own joke.

I wasn't so amused. "Don't joke like that. You know it could happen." I growled softly. Every time I thought of that Jacob kid I wanted to tear him apart.

Her voice turned serious, "Now you know that would never happen. They don't want to break the treaty."

"All right," I said begrudgingly, "I guess I do. Now why did you call?"

"Can Alice hear me right now?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, "Why?"

"I'll tell you once you get out of range," she replied.

"All right." I said, perplexed. I could 'hear' Alice. Her bewilderment matched mine. I ran out of the house and into our meadow. It took only a few seconds. "I'm out of range." I said. "What is it?"

"Okay," she said quietly, as if she was afraid someone might hear, "You of course remember Alice's string of pranks on Carlisle last month."

Oh, did I ever! It was the most exciting thing to happen in a _long_ time. Sure she blamed me, but it was all in good fun. I chuckled at the memory. "Sure I do," I responded, "What of it?"

"Well," she began.

_Just get on with it! _I thought. But I patiently waited.

"I thought you might want some help getting back at her." She finished excitedly.

"Well, I had no problem with it," I said, "It was all against Carlisle. The rest of us just had a good time."

"Oh," she said, a bit sadly.

"That's not to say that I don't want to help you, though," I said, trying to brighten the situation. I hate it when she's sad.

"Oh, good! I was hoping you'd say that!" she said, obviously happier. "I called you first because you would have a better idea than me how to hide our decisions." She said.

She read me the list, prattling on about this and that. I bristled when she read La Push.

"Why are you involving those _dogs_?" I asked

"Edward," she chided, "don't call them that. It's rude. And I already asked Jacob and he said it would be fine."

_Of course she already asked them._ I sighed.

"Besides," she continued, "think of how much it would annoy Alice if she couldn't 'see' us, her stuff, or anything we're doing?"

I had to agree with her on that point.

"Okay," I agreed reluctantly. "Go on."

She continued, going on about this and that, and how this would be perfect as long as that worked. I slowly warmed to the idea. Once she got to the part about Jasper, I thoroughly agreed.

"I'm sure I can arrange that," I said.

"Awesome." She said. "Now, we may have to do them out of order, but it should work. Thank you so much Edward!"

"Of course," I said, "I'll go over the plan with Jasper, and then come to get you. Sound good?"

"Okay," she agreed. "But come in the car," she hurriedly added. Obviously the thought of running still scared her. I laughed.

"All right," I agreed. "I'll be over there soon," I promised.

"Bye," she said.

"Goodbye, Bella," I breathed. She hung up. I dialed Jasper.

**AN: sorry these chapters have been so short! I hope they'll get longer!**


	3. Jasper's Introduction

**AN: sorry I promise I'll get into the pranks soon. I just have to finish all this introduction. Don't kill me! And if you have nay ideas, please tell me either through review or private message! I should get back to you within the next day or so.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight series (Stephenie Meyer) nor 50 Ways to Prank Carlisle Cullen (Lennon Drop). Duh.**_

_Jasper's POV_

I could feel Edward's pain from across the house. _I hope Bella comes back soon. Edward can't take much more of this. Heck, _I_ can't take much more of this_, I thought. I walked to Alice's room to cheer myself up. I opened the door, walked through it, closed the door, and sat on the bed facing Alice. **(AN: look, I know they don't sleep, but I love my bed, just to relax in, and it fits the story, ok?)** She looked up at me, smiling slightly, but I could tell her mind was elsewhere. Suddenly she smiled broader.

"You don't have to do that, you know," I heard Edward say from across the house. His mood had lifted, I could tell.

"I know," she replied with a smile. All three of us benefited greatly, and the most wonderful thing was, _I_ didn't have to do anything! I chuckled, and Alice's gaze fell on me.

I stared into her gorgeous topaz eyes. If I still had a beating heart, it would be racing.

I smiled, and she returned it with an adoring look that said 'kiss me you fool'. So, I prepared to oblige.

I leaned in to plant a kiss upon my love's lips when she drew back, a bewildered look upon her face.

"What is it?" I asked anxiously. Had she seen something? I had been too absorbed in her to hear anything.

"Nothing," she murmured. I was instantly reassured. "Edward's going out. Now where were we?" she continued, resuming her loving gaze. I grinned, then leaned in to finish what I started.

Our lips touched. Even though we're both cold as granite, I swear her kisses warm me. I closed my eyes, just getting into the kiss when…my phone buzzed. I reluctantly pulled away from Alice.

Under other circumstances I might have laughed at her expression. It was one of a small child who has just gotten her candy taken away.

I suppressed my amusement and drew my phone out of my pocket. It was a text from Ed. 'Meet me in the meadow, my meadow, ASAP.' I gave a confused look. I looked up at Alice, whose face was flooded with perplexion. I shrugged, gave her a quick peck goodbye, and ran out of the house. I met Ed in the meadow in a manner of seconds.

"Took you long enough," Edward said jokingly. He was leaned up against the trunk of a tree as if he'd been waiting for awhile. He walked forward.

As I spoke, he stopped moving, "All right, Edward, enough of the games. What'd you bring me here for?" I said. _I'm missing kissing Alice for this,_ I finished silently. He chuckled, shook his head, and then a pained look clouded his expression as he remembered his love was temporarily out of reach.

I sent a wave of calm and reassurance towards him. _It'll be alright,_ I thought.

He nodded. "I know," he said, a little of the anguish erased from his face, "I'm going to get her in a few minutes."

"So, anyway, why am I here?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well, it has to do with Alice," he began, then, as he read both my mind and my expression, quickly added, "Don't worry. It's a good thing. Trust me." He smirked. "It'll be fun."

_Well, in that case,_ I thought. "Okay, let's hear it," I said.

"All right," he began, and filled me in. He took a piece of paper out of his pocket while he spoke. It was the list. I smiled appreciatively at the list as I scanned the first few items.

"Bella came up with this all on her own?" I asked. Edward simply nodded. I whistled admiringly. I frowned slightly when I came to number fifteen.

Edward caught my mental drift and said, "Yeah, Bella was a bit hesitant on that one, too. I think Alice will forgive us…" he broke off as I glared at him. "eventually." he amended quickly.

I nodded. "She will," I said, "maybe in a century or two." Edward raised one eyebrow to see if I was joking (he normally doesn't 'listen' unless he has to) and joined in my laughter a few chortles later. I glanced at my watch. "Well, I should probably head back before Alice gets curious and 'looks' for me."

"Yeah," Ed agreed, although I _swear_ I heard him say 'or maybe he just wants to kiss her' under his breath. I pretended I didn't hear. At my lack of verbal and mental response, he, too, glanced to see what time it was. "I should probably go pick up Bella."

"Are you going to run?" I asked.

"No, I promised Bella I'd take the car."

"Ah." I said, then grinned, "Still afraid of running?"

"I'm afraid she is, yes," Edward replied, faking sadness at the situation. My grin widened, and I saw the corner of his mouth go up. He knew my intentions.

"Wanna race?" I asked.

"Duh!" he replied.

"Now no cheating!" I cried quickly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He said.

"Okay," I said. We both got into starting positions. "3……2……1….GO!"

And we were off.

**AN: Whew! Got that chapter done. Obviously I have my hard drive back. Whose perspective do you want the next chapter in? And I apologize to my Ever After readers that I haven't written in a while. All you readers, check out my poll!**


	4. Makeovers and Pranks

_**AN: OK, no one told me what perspective they wanted it in, so it's going to be in Edward's and Bella's. Thank you again for all your reviews! Although I only got 1 for last chapter, I'm sure I'll get more. (I better. I want at least a total of ten for this story and duplicate people count as one before the next chapter.) And, good news! We're getting to the pranks in this chapter! Well, at least a little of them. Enjoy!**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga (Stephenie Meyer) or 50 Pranks on Carlisle Cullen (Lennon Drop) but you should go read them if you haven't yet!**

_Edward's POV_

"Wanna race?" Jasper asked.

"Duh!" I replied. _What an obvious question. Oh, well. It'll be fun. Even though I can run faster, I can always ch—_I broke off as Jasper cried,

"Now no cheating!" _Dang it. Oh, well._

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I replied.

"Okay," he said. We both got into starting positions. "3……2……1….GO!" he finished.

And we were off. As soon as the letter 'G' was out of his lips, I sped off, going as fast as I possibly could. I focused only on the destination and winning. And not hitting trees.

I heard Jasper behind me. "You're not going to have the lead for long, Ed!"

"Riiiight," I said, "If you can catch up to _this_!" I finished with a laugh as I put on an extra burst of speed.

Soon the house was within view. I let a small victorious smile cross my lips as I slowed down slightly. There was _no_ way Jasper could beat me now. Just then I felt a small breeze brush past me.

The breeze said, "Ha!" _Ugh!_ I thought, and regained my speed of before, trying to beat him back. It was actually a close race now, but he was still no match for me. Soon we were neck in neck, and then I passed him. Just in time, too, for, as I did, I crossed the doorstep.

I turned around to face Jasper on the porch. He reached the top step a second after I did. My grin said it all, but I wanted to rub it in. As I opened my mouth to do so, he cut me off.

"Save it," he said.

"What?" I asked with feigned innocence. I stepped off the porch and turned around to face him. He, too, turned to face me.

"You know what," he replied.

"Whatever," I said with a smile less gloating. I went up a few steps, leaned in closer and whispered so only he could hear, "Go kiss Alice. You'll forget about it soon enough." I pulled away and said in a louder tone, "Good race, Jasper. I'm going to go pick up Bella."

He grinned and said, "All right. Have fun!" I smiled back, and stepped off the porch again to head to the garage. I turned back to face him.

"You, too," I mouthed silently. He grinned, and I think he would've blushed if he had any blood still running through his veins. He turned and walked through the door he had left open earlier. I turned away, keys in hand, to head for the garage.

I opened the garage door, and stood pondering. _Now, which car should I take? The Volvo? The Vanquish? Should I steal Alice's Porsche to annoy her early? Hmm….tempting, but I should wait. Picking up Bella isn't a special enough occasion for the Vanquish. I guess it'll be the Volvo._

I opened the door and got into the driver's seat. I did all pre-driving preparations and started the engine. The drive to the line didn't take long. I put it in Park, set the brake, and stopped the engine. I picked up my cell and dialed the speed dial 2.

Bella picked up on the second ring. "Hey, Edward. You're here I'm guessing?"

"Yes," I replied simply.

"Okay I'll be there soon," she said. I heard a raspy voice I recognized, but couldn't quite make out the words. "No, Jacob, don't run me," she said. I bristled at the thought. "I don't think Edward would like it too much. He doesn't like the fact that I'm here to begin with." _Got that right!_ I thought. I thought I heard a 'Good!' from the child/dog/boy/GRRR! "Jacob, be nice," she chided. He grunted something. "Good. Now please drive me to the line." She said to him, then to me, "I'll be there soon. I promise."

"Good." I said.

"And then we can get started on the pranks!" she finished excitedly. "Okay, Edward, I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you. Bye."

"Love you, too, Bella. See you _soon_." I put emphasis on the 'soon'. "Bye," I said, then pushed end. I let out a breath. This could be a while. No matter how soon she got here, I knew it would feel like an eternity, and I wouldn't feel right until she was in my arms. _She _would_ get here faster if he ran her here._ One part of me said. _Yeah but do you really want _him_ touching her, and _his_ scent all over her?_ I shivered at the thought, and set in to wait.

I could hear the Rabbit's engine long before I could see it. Even when my keen eyes could see it, it seemed like forever before he stopped the car and she got out. Even after she did, she said goodbye, and gave him a hug. I growled. Not loud enough for them to hear, but still. She got up from the embrace and met my eyes. She quickly shut the door and started running to me. She turned partway in her run and waved goodbye to him. He returned the wave to her, glared at me, and turned the car around to go home. His tires screeched on the gravel trail. Bella looked back, and shook her head. Unfortunately, her body decided that that was the opportune moment to trip her. I threw open my door, ran to her, and caught her right before her body went horizontal on the ground.

"Oh, crud," she said. I brought her back up to the vertical position.

"Yes, you could say that," I agreed with a smile.

"Ed-ward!" she cried indignantly, and tried to pull away from my iron grip around her wrists. "Let g—" she broke off as I leaned in for a kiss. Our lips met, and I could feel her warmth seeping into my body through her lips. She smelled even better than I remembered. I let go of her wrists and put my hands gently onto her cheeks. She got into the kiss, too much in fact. She put her hands into my hair and gripped tight. Instantly I turned still as stone. I pulled away, unlocking her hands from my coppery locks. She groaned softly.

"Sorry," she said. I pretended to glare at her for a while, but I couldn't resist her sad expression. I laughed. At first she glared at me, but soon she joined in the laughter.

"Let's go home," I said when I finished chuckling.

"Your home, right?" she asked. I opened her door for her, and closed it after she got in.

"Of course," I replied, getting into the car on my side. I closed the door and started the engine. "It's Saturday, and I'm sure Alice would like to give you a makeover."

She groaned, and then I saw her smile out of the corner of my eye as I pulled into the street. "Perfect," she said, "I'll let her make me over, and then I'll steal all her makeup. Of course, you'll have to drive me _back_ to La Push."

I sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. But I agreed ahead of time, so I suppose I will have to comply."

"Is Jasper doing his job?" she asked.

"Yes, he agrees with the plan, and will help us. He's just sad that he won't be able to see it." I chuckled.

Bella glanced over at the speedometer. She sighed. I went down from 100 mph to 80.

"Happy?" I asked jokingly, though I knew she wouldn't be.

"You're going 80 in a 40 zone! Do you honestly expect me to be happy?" She tried to glare at me. I took one hand off of the steering wheel and caressed her cheek. I heard her heart rate go up, and felt the blood rushing through her veins. I laughed.

"Will I ever get over that?" she muttered.

"I certainly hope not." I replied.

"You weren't supposed to hear that!" she cried.

"Too bad," I said with a crooked grin. I knew she couldn't stay mad at me for long. I was right. Besides, we were nearing the house. I drove off the road into the trees and brush that hid our house. She bounced slightly in her seat with excitement.

"Tone it down," I cautioned gently, "Alice might suspect something. Speaking of Alice," I trailed off and 'listened' for her. I turned into our driveway, and then into the garage. I parked it, then took off my seatbelt. I could hear and 'hear' Alice and Jasper. I didn't know when Jasper would spring it on her. I hoped not yet, because we didn't want him leaving too soon. We could pull of the makeup steal with him here. They were talking, but not arguing. I let out a relieved breath.

I answered Bella's questioning look with, "I wanted to see if Jasper was leaving soon. He's not."

"But won't we need him to so we can—" she asked.

I interrupted with, "No, we can pull off a few of these before he has to."

"Ok," she said, "Let's get on with this."

I nodded. I got out of the car, shut the door, and opened Bella's door before she even had her seatbelt off.

"Boo," I said.

She screamed a little. "Edward! Don't do that! I could have a heart attack and then where would we be?" she said indignantly.

I shrugged. "Carlisle's a doctor. He could fix you." She glared at me and refused to get out the car so I picked her up.

"Grrr…" she said.

"You want to walk?" I asked.

"Yes." She said meekly. She still didn't have control of her voice or blood around me. I laughed and released my grip so she could walk. We walked to the door that led into the house from the garage. I pressed the button that closed the garage door. Bella walked into the house first, and was immediately attacked by Alice (which I could've predicted and told her, but I chose not to, just for the heck of it).

Alice took her in a hug that lifted her up off of the ground.

"Can't….breathe…" gasped Bella.

"Sorry," Alice said, and gently put Bella back on the floor. "Ready for a makeover?" Her golden eyes sparkled.

"Sure," Bella said cautiously.

"Yay!" cried Alice, clapping her hands. She grabbed one of Bella's hands with one of her petite, pale ones and practically dragged her upstairs. I could hear her talking excitedly about what they would do, and what colors suited her eyes, and such. I laughed, and headed to the living room. I decided to play video games while I waited. As I got good old Mario started up, Emmett walked in and joined me.

_Bella's POV_

_The sooner I get this over with, the sooner my plan can start. Focus on that. _I thought to myself, and nodded assent at the appropriate moments throughout Alice's speech. She moved her hands quickly as she explained what color palettes would go best with my eyes, what was the best mascara for my eyelashes, what lip gloss what look good on me, etc. I inwardly sighed. This was going to be a _long_ afternoon.

When we finally got upstairs, she sat me in her bathroom. After she left me to go to her makeup closet to get some makeup, I looked at the list and reviewed it. _Okay, steal makeup brushes, crack nail polish bottles, and steal liquid makeup lids._ I took out my phone and texted Edward, "While Alice is busy making me over, crack all nail polishes left, steal all brushes left, and steal all makeup lids. Will do my part here. Bella." As I shut my phone and put it with the list in my pocket, Alice walked through the door, many bottles in her hands.

"What all did you get, Alice?" I asked.

"Oh, some lip gloss, some mascara, some foundation and coverup: the essentials." She replied, looking at what she'd brought.

"Oh, ok." I said, then added, "Could you bring some nail polish so we can paint my nails?"

She smiled. "Sure!" Of course. That would mean more time for her to treat me like a doll. She set everything on the counter in front of the mirror and headed out. She turned right before the door (it's a REALLY big bathroom) and asked, "Anything else I can get you, Bella?"

"Yeah, actually there is," I said, "Could you get me a makeup bag in case I want to borrow some of this stuff? I figured you might be able to lend me some—you have so much." I laughed, as did she.

"Sure," she said again, and left. She was gone barely ten seconds when she returned with a large makeup bag and it looked like every color of the rainbow of nail polish.

My mouth made a large 'O'. Alice laughed and said,

"Don't worry, Bella. Now let's get down to business."

She did every possible thing to me: eyeliner, mascara, eyeshadow, lipliner, lipgloss, blush, foundation, coverup, shimmer powder, nail primer, nail polish, and even a clearcoat and nail art. It's a good thing she already picked her colors. She put me in browns in liner and mascara for my pale skin. I had light peachy colors for my pale lips. In shadow, she picked some different shades of green to offset the brown in my eyes and did a smoky eye. On my nails, she did a blue-purple with little white flowers. Then, it was time for clothes. I ended up in a blue, green, and white tunic top with a light brown camisole, a knee-length jean skirt that was actually quite flattering, and opaque white leggings. She (unfortunately for me and my clumsiness) put me in three-inch white stilettos that barely tied around my feet. She helped me to a mirror so I could see the full effect.

I gasped. _That's not me!_ I thought.

Alice chuckled. "That's you all right." She said as if I said my thoughts out loud. Who knows, I could've.

"Wow, Alice. I look _amazing_!" I exclaimed, and hugged her.

"You're welcome." She said with a smile as she released me.

I pulled back from her and asked, "Can I borrow all this stuff and try it for myself?"

"Of course, Bella!" she said, "In fact, you can keep it if you want. I have enough."

"Wow!" I said, then, remembering the Plan, "No, I couldn't _keep_ it. I'll bring it back. But thank you so much!"

"Sure," she said.

I headed into the bathroom and scooped up all that was on the counter and put it all into the makeup bag.

I headed past Alice quickly, before she could see that I'd taken _everything_.

"Bye, Alice. Thanks, but I gotta go, sorry!" I said as I hurried past.

"Um, okay," she said, "You're welcome. Need a ride?"

"No!" I said, too quickly, turning to face her. "Edward's taking me. He kinda doesn't want me out of his sight after my visit with Jacob."

"Oh, yeah," she said, "Well, have fun! Bye!"

"Bye," I said, continuing on my way out of her room. I quickly ran down the stairs, almost tripping a few times, but making it nonetheless, and heading to the garage. Edward was waiting for me in the garage.

"I guess you made it, huh?" he said with a smile, then, before I had a chance to speak, gave me a peck on the lips. "Mmm...that stuff Alice put on your lips tastes good," he said, smacking his lips. I gaped at him as he continued, "You should wear it."

I regained my composure enough to shut my mouth, and resumed the earlier conversation, "Yep," I continued with, "You?"

"Yes," he said, heading out the garage's side door.

"W-wait," I stuttered, "Aren't we driving?" I finished nervously.

"Nah," he said, "I'm faster than any car, especially with you watching my speed all the time." He chuckled, then finished with, "Besides, you need to get over this ridiculous fear of running with me."

"Ridiculous?" I exclaimed.

"Shhh," he said, putting a frigid finger on my lips. He looked in my eyes with that dazzling thing, and I couldn't utter a coherent word.

"Uhhh," I said, and he smiled.

"Hop on," he said, bending over so I could get up on his back.

"Okay," I said uncertainly. I clumsily clambered up onto his back, bag in hand. I locked my arms into a strangle-hold around his neck. He didn't seem to mind. He put his arms around my legs to keep me on, then said,

"Oh, wait," and took one hand off to reach inside his jacket. He pulled out a bag with Alice's makeup supplies undoubtedly in it. He handed it up to me. I let go of my iron grip for a second to grab it, then resumed the death hold. "Hold this, please," he said, and took hold of my leg once more.

"Ready?" he asked, then chuckled as he knew what my answer would be even if I chose to answer. He set off, and I closed my eyes and buried my head in his hair and focused on his scent as he ran.

Sooner than I expected, he said gently, "We're here." He let go of my legs, and I told my arms to let go, but they wouldn't. When he realized I was stuck, he swiftly pulled me up over his head and put me gently on the ground. I took a deep breath and let it out.

"You might want to call Jacob to come get the stuff," he said.

"Oh, right," I said. I had completely forgotten it in the run and my focus on his smell.

I pulled out my cell and dialed Jacob. I told him I was there, and asked him to please come get the stuff and put it in a safe place. He agreed.

While we waited for Jacob, we put all the brushes and lids in Edward's bag and all the bottles in mine.

When Jacob showed up, I put Edward's bag in Jacob's waiting hands and told him to take care of it.

When his car roared out of sight, I got back on Edward's back.

"Was that really so bad?" he asked as he ran.

"No," I begrudgingly said.

I know that if I could've seen his face, it would've been smiling.

He stopped, so I opened my eyes and got off. _I'm getting better at this!_ I thought.

"I'll go drop the news subtly and tell you Alice's reaction over dinner. What are you making?" he said.

"Why does it matter?" I asked with a laugh, "You're not going to eat it anyway!"

He laughed, too. "I know, but I'd like to know what I'm missing out on."

"I don't know. I think Charlie went fishing today, so probably fish."

"Okay," Edward said, "See you then. Bye."

"Bye," I said wistfully. He leaned in and gave me a kiss. It was only a peck and left me wanting more. "There better be more than that later," I muttered. He laughed, and as I started to glare at him, contemplating tackling him because Charlie wasn't home yet, but then Edward was gone.

_**AN: okay, bad ending I know, but I had to end it somehow. It was REALLY long with the prank and the intro. But I know **_**I**_** like long stories, so maybe y'all will, too.**_


End file.
